Vulnerability, strength and belief in your father’s unorthodox methods led to your independence-congrats. Having been adopted myself from South Korea, and literally feeling unwanted from my father-the things that tied us together oddly would be our combat service (US Air Force surgeon in Vietnam) and me at 21 years old in the Marine Corps as heavy equipment operator in Desert Shield/Storm. We never talked much, even after our little moment of connection, but 8 years ago-I looked in his eyes (without one word) and a glance of forgiveness and gratefulness took over me. As his Alzheimer’s gets worse, glad my step mom is there for him and most important-he remembers my 2 daughters are part of his permanent memory.
Thanks for sharing Leslie! I too am one of those people who didn’t (never actually) share anything about my dad because it’s complicated. Maybe I will now! Thanks for inspiring me!
Thank you for sharing. I greatly appreciate these types of stories that resemble my own. Your essay reminds me of this one recently shared: https://www.thecut.com/2023/06/inherited-anger-father-daughter-relationship.html
Vulnerability, strength and belief in your father’s unorthodox methods led to your independence-congrats. Having been adopted myself from South Korea, and literally feeling unwanted from my father-the things that tied us together oddly would be our combat service (US Air Force surgeon in Vietnam) and me at 21 years old in the Marine Corps as heavy equipment operator in Desert Shield/Storm. We never talked much, even after our little moment of connection, but 8 years ago-I looked in his eyes (without one word) and a glance of forgiveness and gratefulness took over me. As his Alzheimer’s gets worse, glad my step mom is there for him and most important-he remembers my 2 daughters are part of his permanent memory.
Thanks for sharing Leslie! I too am one of those people who didn’t (never actually) share anything about my dad because it’s complicated. Maybe I will now! Thanks for inspiring me!