Taking my elderly parents to Korea

My father (84) is insistent on going to Korea one last time. And my mom (78) can’t take him alone.

For three years, she tried her best to convince my mentally declining father that he had already seen his brother. Can't he remember when he took an abrupt and very stubborn trip to Korea less than a decade ago?

He traveled alone with no knowledge of his brother's whereabouts, got on a bus to the town his son-in-law practices dentistry in, and asked a random taxi driver where he might be able to find a dentist who graduated from such and such university. The driver took him to a dentist who met the qualifications, and my father was able to locate his brother's daughter's husband that way. (Crazy, I know).

I can't imagine showing up for two days completely unannounced went swimmingly well, because they did not seem particularly enthused to hear that he has planning to visit again. When my mother couldn't get a sound response from her nephew-in-law (is that a thing?), she demanded my father tell her if there was any family drama. His response was, "What drama could there possibly be?"

My mom hates planning. She's the type of person who likes cruises and all-inclusive group tours to avoid making decisions about what to eat or where to sleep. She thought it would be best to visit Korea via a 14-day sightseeing tour by bus — and nearly booked one for the three of us.

That left me scratching my head. She lived in Korea. She's been back multiple times. Why would she want to only visit all the tourist sites? How would we see my uncle? Is that really how we want to spend our time?

I begged her not to do it. After a small amount of research, I was able to come up with a plan that included:

• 4 days in my uncle's area with ample and optional visiting time.

• A 4-day road trip down the east coast from the North Korean border to Busan, the southernmost large city.

• 4 days in Seoul to visit my mom's cousins and some of her alumni friends.

I understand she just wants someone else to do the planning. And she isn't used to asking for help. So she defaults to the only option she knows.

In less than 24 hours, I'll board a plane with them for the first time in 33 years. It was easy for me to book flights for them, book Airbnb's for them, and rent a car. Thanks to years worth of Reddit contributions, I could find out easily which car rental service was accessible to foreigners. And thanks to Naver Maps (Korea's Google Maps), I can find out what's good to eat in any area.

My mom is so happy with the itinerary she wants me to go to Japan and Spain with her next year. We haven't even left yet.

Some things come easily and naturally to us. For me, using basic technology to plan a trip is second nature. It's mind-blowing to think of booking flights or allocating time as a roadblock.

But to someone like my mom, planning turns them to stone. Overwhelmed and paralyzed, she'll pick even subpar options if it saves her from doing the thing she hates most.

It's easy to discount the obvious and think of them as not worth talking about. But it's often the things that come as easily to you as walking that can help someone unlike you the most.

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Wish me luck, my friends! I'll have updates for you on X as we go. I also have lots of half-written articles in my documents and hope to put some time into those on the long flights to come. —Leslie S. Kim