Six years ago, I attended a knife-throwing workshop. During the event, the instructor yelled, "STOP THROWING LIKE A GIRL!"
The teenager who was having trouble hitting the target stopped in her tracks and laughed nervously.
But the instructor was clearly frustrated because he knew the teenager could hit the target but just wasn't doing it. Fully animated, he got up to explain what he meant:
"Society tells you that you have to act a certain way because you're a woman. So you live your life thinking you have to conform to those standards. But you don't!
You grew up believing 'this is the way girls throw,' and it shows in your movement. Throwing is about balance, alignment, and positioning.
It has nothing to do with being a girl. So forget all that social conditioning and JUST THROW.
You're allowed to be a warrior."
What was initially a shocking comment began to make sense as his words came together.
Beyond being able to hit a target with a knife, I learned a deeper lesson that day:
Our ideas of what it means to do (or be) something are generally shaped by the culture around us, and it isn’t until we try to do something for ourselves that we are confronted with how those ideas have affected us.
Learning a skill can sometimes inform us of expectations we hold that we are not fully aware of. It’s possible that those expectations do not even exist anywhere outside our own minds.
Practical, real-world learning will overwrite social conditioning every time.
To be truly effective at something, you have to be willing to step outside the bounds of social standards.
Yes, you can wear a mask of conformity when it is necessary but also understand that you can take it off at any time.
You’re allowed to be a warrior.
Great piece. This is so applicable to so many areas of life.
Love the subtitle and how your writing revolves around and then grows out of it! The rough wisdom from real-life will outdo smooth norms and expectations every time -- this is something we all need to remember!